How to Get My Teenager to Respect Me?

empowering your teenager family enrichment Jun 22, 2022


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In this video we are going to explore the questions of respect. 


Parents often ask how do I get my teenager to respect me?


There are a number of particular circumstances that lead to this questions.


  • Maybe your teen doesn’t listen to you
  • Maybe your teen doesn’t follow the rules in the house
  • Maybe your teen argues with you every time you ask them to do something
  • Maybe your teen yells and says things a child should never say to their parent


In this video you will find 3 strategies for turning your disrespectful teenager into someone who enjoys being with you, helps around the house and  appreciates everything you do for them. 


Strategy # 1 - Shift your mindset with regards to respect.   


Move from a fear based view of respect to a love based view of respect.


With a love based approach the goal is to have your teenager “respect” you because they truly appreciate you. They are grateful for you.   


Strategy #2 - Build connection through vulnerability


What is your son or daughter's disrespect telling you?


See the disrespect as a call for help. They feel isolated or alone… they don’t believe that you are on their side. 


One approach could be to be vulnerable. 


  • Acknowledge what is happening vs what you want as the ideal
  • Express your feelings about the circumstances
  • Take responsibility
  • Commit to making your relationship a priority and adopting a growth mindset


Strategy #3 - Co Create a set of ground rules for handling disagreements 


Start by acknowledging that there will be disagreements and that this is new territory for both of you.   Relate this idea to their future… Potential disagreements with roommates, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends. 


Next, develop a list of the points you can agree on.  


For example: 


  • No yelling.  
  • If one of us gets angry, stop the discussion and pick a time to start over.  
  • Solutions have to work for everyone in the family. This may require compromise.
  • Each person will have the opportunity to state their case without interruption.  

A change in perspective … changes everything.


Jim White

Family Enrichment Coach






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