The inner game of parenting

shifting your mindset Feb 22, 2022

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My journey in personal development started at the age of 20 with the goal of being a better golfer. In 1981, I found a book called The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey. Reading this book certainly provided some insight into my golf game, but more importantly it was an introduction to the power of our thoughts and mindset, with the idea that a greater wisdom resides within us. This book was the seed for the work I am doing today.  


So I know what you are probably thinking: What could this book about being a better golfer possibly have to do with being a better parent or with family enrichment?  


The short answer is this: If we learn to listen to our intuition and let our actions be guided by it—by our inner wisdom—we will experience better results. 


Gallwey presents the idea as two identities that reside within us. He called them Self 1 and Self 2. Self 1 is the inner critic. This is the voice within your head that is always passing judgment, analyzing, and providing instruction. Self 2 is the one, in the case of golf, that is actually hitting the ball. The path for improvement involved learning to quiet Self 1, the critic, while at the same time developing trust in Self 2’s ability to perform. This is the essence of the Inner Game and it is applicable in all areas of life. In fact, Gallwey wrote six books on the topic, including The Inner Game of Work and The Inner Game of Stress


For me this has evolved into the idea of two mindsets. Residing within each of us is a fear-based mindset and a love-based mindset. Gallwey would identify Self 1 as being fear based and Self 2 as being love based. Simply stated, our journey to being a better parent and filling our homes with peace, joy, warmth, and love entails learning to quiet the fear-based voice within us so that our natural instincts to engage with love can shine through. The premise is that we are fundamentally good. Our core self is love based, and the key to living a purposeful life, to being the parents our teenagers need us to be, lies within us. 


Can you see how this has led to our mission?


Our mission is to empower parents to choose love over fear regardless of how life is putting the squeeze on them. 


I like to say that a change in perspective… changes everything. This is especially true when we move from a fearful perspective to a loving perspective.. 

Jim White

Family Enrichment Coach 





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