Parenting Teenagers

The Power of a Spiritual Perspective

family enrichment Mar 30, 2022

Think about all the ways you can interpret the actions of your spouse, your children, your parents, or any other family member. Your child’s cry in the middle of the night is attributed to a fear of the dark. Your spouse’s verbal outburst is considered an attack on the way you are handling the family finances. Your parents’ continual judgment of how you are raising your children is an example of how you were never good enough. 


Now consider this possibility: You do not respond to anything directly…you respond to your interpretation of it. If you believe your child is afraid of the dark, you comfort and offer an explanation. If you feel your spouse is attacking your decision making, you offer a defense and then retaliate with your own attack. When you perceive negative judgment from your parents, you shift the blame to them with your own negative judgment. 


But what if your interpretation is wrong? Have you ever offered what seemed to be a reasonable response to an attack by your spouse only to find that what you did just made them more upset?


We can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what is going on in someone else's mind. What are they afraid of? What are they mad about? Why are they so difficult? 


Today I am going to offer you a simple rule for interpreting the actions of your family members. This is the only rule possible when you look from a spiritual perspective. As you engage with others, say to yourself:


Every loving thought or act is true; everything else is a call for healing, regardless of the form it takes.


The great benefit of this spiritual interpretation is the simplicity it brings to your response. You respond to loving thoughts and loving acts with love. You respond to everything else with the intent to heal by offering love.


Here is another way of saying this: If you are ever conflicted about what to do or how to respond to a child, your spouse, or any other person, just remember that love is always the answer.


Now, offering love in response to a loving act from a family member seems natural. The dilemma here is offering love in response to an unloving act. This struggle occurs when we look to others to be our source of healing. When we “need” the love and approval of others to feel whole. Remember the famous movie line “You complete me.”? While this is a very romantic thought, it clearly suggests that without the other person, the person who said this line would be left in a vulnerable or broken state. So how could he be expected to offer love in response to an attack? We cannot give what we do not have. In fact many times, we will offer our own history of receiving limited love as the justification for not offering love to others. 


Here is the question: What if you became a source of healing and love? Or maybe the better question is: Can you tap into an internal source of love so that you are healed and not dependent on others to “complete” you? I have found this possibility to be very liberating. When you look at life from a spiritual perspective you find the source of your life—the source of your healing—is in your relationship with God. This is an inside-out approach. So when you are confronted with an attack from someone, you are in a position to offer love because you have an endless supply from the only real source. You freely offer forgiveness because you have been given forgiveness. Your gratitude becomes contagious because it is limitless. You extend your hands without condition or hesitation because you have been healed and the only reasonable response is to share the love you have been given. 


This is why your own spiritual enrichment is so important. As you are healed you will become an example of the healing process and therefore a source of healing for your family. Consider this possibility:


  • We are all children of God.
  • From God’s perspective, forgiveness was offered the instant you committed an unloving act. 
  • As a child of God, all you have to do to be healed is to ACCEPT this forgiveness.
  • The instant you ACCEPT forgiveness, you are healed and love will return.
  • Once you are healed, you will naturally see all of the unloving acts of others as calls for healing…calls for love.


Our role in this process is to let God’s forgiveness and love flow through us out into the world. 


Peace be with you and your family.


Jim White

Family Enrichment Coach





10 Questions to NEVER ask you teen - conversation killers

10 Great questions - conversation starters



Send me the QUESTIONS

You can start using these questions today and you will notice a difference by tomorrow.

When you sign up, we will be sending you weekly emails with additional free content. .