Parenting Teenagers

You don’t have to attend every argument your teenager invites you to

family enrichment Feb 24, 2022

There are two primary reasons to choose not to argue with your teenager. 


First, when you engage in an argument, you will be experiencing anger and frustration, which are clear indications that your mindset is fear based. When you act out of anger or frustration there is no possibility for healing, growth, or viable solutions. Instead, your negative energy will just compound the negative emotional state your teenager is already experiencing. Your role as the parent is to provide the space for your teenager’s negative energy to dissipate. If you find yourself struggling to stay grounded in a love-based mindset, just excuse yourself from the situation. You could say.


“I am too frustrated to talk about this right now. I need to take some time to cool off, so I am going to talk a walk. “


A walk can provide the opportunity for you to shift your mindset using some of the strategies we have discussed before. Once you are grounded in a love-based mindset, you can return to the discussion without being pulled into your teenager’s negative energy. You will be able to listen with compassion, providing the opportunity for your teenager to compose themselves so you can transition to empowerment coaching. Remember, personal growth and creative solutions will only appear when you and your teenager are grounded in love.  


Second, some arguments just aren’t worth having. Have you ever heard the parenting wisdom of ”pick your battles”? The premise here is that some arguments are centered on differences in opinions. This typically comes up when parents try to control their teenagers’ choices regarding styles, fads, or trends. For example: Your teenager deciding to dye their hair green is probably not worth fighting about. You can just say: “That’s an interesting choice.”


Chances are, they will change to purple in a few months and then eventually go back to their natural color a few months after that.


Our goal as parents is to empower our children to be their absolute best and to lead purposeful lives. Keeping this goal in mind can go a long way toward eliminating the constant fighting with your teenager. 

Jim White

Family Enrichment Coach





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