FEA Hero Blog
One of the traps of parenting a teenager is the urge we feel to share our wisdom. We see our son or daughter heading down a path that we know from our own experience is not going anywhere good. So we sit them down and tell them how we have been there before. How they need to listen to our...
Question from a concerned parent:
What do I do when my daughter comes home upset because other kids are saying mean things to her?
Unfortunately, meanness is a growing issue within our schools and on social media. With daughters, these comments are often directed at appearance. One...
Getting a driver's license is a huge deal to most teenagers. Driving is a critical stepping stone toward independence and self-reliance. While the outer goal is to get their license and begin enjoying the freedom driving brings, the inner journey toward responsibility should be the priority for...
It is Friday night and your teenager asks if you can give him and two of his friends a ride to the football game. There are a couple of opportunities to build connection within this request. First, there is the car ride. Before the friends get in the car, take the opportunity to check in with...
I am often asked “How do I know if I should let an issue go?” Or “Do I continue to address so-called bad behavior over and over or is there a point where you just let it go?”
If this is a question you have confronted, there are several aspects to explore. First, is...
Do you ever feel like you don’t have the energy to deal with your teenager?
Lack of energy or being tired is a common issue for today’s parents. There are two aspects to your physical energy. First, there is the impact of your mental state. Stress and negative emotions consume...
One of the most common statements I hear from parents is “I wish I could get my teenager to talk to me.” When I inquire about how the conversations typically go, I hear about the dreaded one-word answer.
Mom: How was school today?
Teenager: Fine.
Mom: How did you do on the math...
Setting expectations is an alternative to setting limits. This distinction grows out of the difference between an empowerment-based mindset and a control-based mindset. In order to gain some awareness of your default mindset, try this exercise.
Over the next 24 hours, keep track of how...
One of the biggest sources of conflict between teenagers and their parents is the perceived readiness gap. Teens have a tendency to overestimate their ability to manage their life, while parents have a tendency to underestimate teens’ management abilities. Consequently, teens are constantly...
In our 28 day parenting boot camp, we talk about choosing empowerment over control as the basis for parenting our teenagers. In the book Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers , Michael Riera presents an interesting perspective on this dynamic in the parent-teenager relationship. Riera...
We were at the baseball park the other day watching our 7 -year-old grandson’s team play the second game of a doubleheader when I noticed an older man playing tag with a young child. The little boy was running in circles around a trash can and a group of parents. The older man, who I am...
One of the most effective ays to build connection and empower your teenager is to hand write a note—although many people fail to see the importance of this in our digital age. This can be done as a way to heal your relationship after an argument or as a way to communicate how much you love...